I don't know what to write.

I bought a book called “How to change your life in Seven Days”, well four weeks afterward, the book is under my laptop and my life is still the same and I have £7.99 less.

That is amazing how we can spend money on things that we will never use. I mean, I don’t need to be cleaver for that. However I do always the same, I bought auto-self book and think well my life will be changed automatically. So far the first thing is to read the book.

So long I buy those books I start to read it, few pages later I am upset because “someone else” is trying to tell me his life is perfect , better than mine, you must follow me!!!  I hate that.

With the time I learned that the only auto-self that those books make is for the author. Because a lot of desperate people like me are buying it, then he (the author) is making money.

That point made me think about nothing and all.

But the last week I spent the hold week into the Soho, because one of my friends was here on Holidays. Been in Soho the hold week was remembered of the last summer, before my life change without auto-self book.

We saw the same people every single night, doing the same things: I mean drink, drink, still drink and hutting.  I don’t know why, but every time that I am going out in pub, club or wherever, I start to look them and create like small analysis of them. Believe me!!! in Soho you can have done five or ten anthropology books about the gay life.

The point is that while I did their analysis I did not know but at the same time I did my own analysis about how changed my life in the last eleven months.

Maybe that is the matter when you are drinking 10 gin tonics per night, seven days at week.

You have time to think.

The last summer I was single, I am engaged now.

The last summer I was working as waitress, I am Operations Manger now,

The last summer I was living in the East, I am living in the West now.

The last summer I was sharing house with ten people, I am sharing only with my Boyfriend now.

The last summer I didn’t speak good English, I don’t yet.

The last summer I was one of them, I was the kind of guy who was already for hutting every single night into every single place.

Yes I was, but the life changes for better or simply changes. I cannot say that I am missing that kind of life; however I am still missing something to have friend in this city. That is true I don’t why but here the people are gone quickly, before you finish your first Gin Tonic, they are gone.  Gone like my ideas. Because I think that this post is the worst post that I did before.

I mean, I don’t why I am writing, maybe because I need it... I will let you know maybe someday. 

Raymond